See You When I Get There, Grandma...

On the 20th of December last year my dear, dear grandma left this earth to be with our Father in heaven. When I found out we were on our Middle Eastern tour, in Cairo. It was shocking. I had prayed that she would at least last until the end of the year, but this was not to be so. My mom was one of those that took this news the hardest. She kept crying until our eventual visit to her grave a few days after the New Year. So this blog entry is dedicated to the memory of her life on earth.

I've known my grandma for about as long as I've lived. She was at times like a second mom to me. In fact, there were times when my mom was 'not there', and she was. There were a few occassions which will stick to my mind particularly where my grandma showed her love for me the brightest. The most memorable was, however, that one time when we sat in my little backyard and she reminisced about her past.

And it was this reminiscence, in fact, that helped to give me comfort. One of the most heartfelt things she said was how much she missed her late husband, especially at times when her chidren are less than too kind to her. And so she now is reunited with him, the grandpa I never met.

I also kept thinking about the time I visited her at the hospital. It was sad to see her lying in the hospital bed, unable to speak properly, unable to move, a husk of her formal jolly self. Some speculate that she was given the time at the hospital to reflect on her life, and to return to the Father so that she would be ready to go home. Perhaps. Yet that time at the hospital was the most intimate moment I ever spent with my grandma, the second being that night at my back porch. It was the only time in my life that I ever gave her a kiss or held her hand. Part of me hoped to see her again, but another part of me feared that it might be the last time that I would ever see her in this world. And it was. My sister told me that grandma cried everytime she saw her at the hospital, as though she was aware that it would be the last time. Perhaps she knew her time was coming. And when it came, I later found out, it came peacefully.

Am I sad? Yes. But at the same time, resigned. And even rejoicing at the thought that she is now free from the constraints of old age and disease that has so long bounded her, and even more at the thought that she is now with her Father, and her (earthly) beloved husband. And I am thankful that I had her as my dear grandma, and for the memories of her that I have. And I am thankful that one day, when I get there too, I will see her again.